Anger and shame

When I’m working through an emotional diagram with clients, we start with the facts of the situation, then we identify the emotion they were feeling. Often the first emotion they identify is anger, frustration, or annoyance. It’s only when pushed that they can move beneath the anger to the emotion they actually felt first –Continue reading “Anger and shame”

Stickier emotions…making life worth living

Sadness, worry, embarrassment, guilt. These are all ordinary emotions that all of us experience almost every day. We experience them to varying degrees and cope with them in various ways. The emotions themselves are not good or bad. They just are. It’s not bad to be sad when something terrible happens. It’s not wrong toContinue reading “Stickier emotions…making life worth living”

A dream is a wish your heart makes…

I believe that I’m doing the best that I can. I also believe that in order to change I have to do things differently – better. How do I do better if I’m already doing the best that I can? I need to keep learning. I need to keep trying. I need to keep growing.Continue reading “A dream is a wish your heart makes…”

What’s with today, today…

Happy Monday! Mondays are a long ay for me at work. Sometimes, when scheduling kid activities, I forget this and over commit for after work on Mondays. Orthodontist at 3:30? Of course, no problem. I don’t know why I didn’t remember that we have piano on the other side of town at 4 on MondaysContinue reading “What’s with today, today…”

Emotion Modeling

I’ve been working with several of my clients lately to diagram their emotions. I think about emotional reactions as reasonable (in that the client has reasons for reacting the way that they do) and rational (meaning the reaction makes sense if you see things the way the client is seeing them) in most situations. ByContinue reading “Emotion Modeling”

Time in the car…

Today was a long day. The kids are back to school and the early morning coupled with the restart of all of their activities means I spend a lot of time in the car. In Houston, for me, the car means aggravation, frustration and a little bit of road rage (maybe more than a littleContinue reading “Time in the car…”

Emotions with a point…

I’ve been thinking about mental health a lot lately. We use words like diagnosis and disorder pretty freely in working with clients. We’re trained in school to think in terms of pathology and symptoms. To look for disorder or illness. To search for dysfunction. In my DBT skills group the other day, we started talkingContinue reading “Emotions with a point…”

Readiness to change

When I’m working with a client, one of the first things I have to assess is how ready they are to change. There are formal questionnaires that can be used to measure how ready an alcoholic is to give up drinking or how ready an addict is to give up their drug of choice. ForContinue reading “Readiness to change”

Sports Parenting Part 2

We’ve all been there. You’re at the game, watching happily as your child plays their chosen position. Then they do it. They make the worst decision they could possibly make. In soccer, which my daughter plays, they do a soft cross in front of their own goal when playing defense. Your heart sinks. The otherContinue reading “Sports Parenting Part 2”