Last night something happened that has prompted me to feel real gratitude for my husband, our relationship, and the support he offers to both me and our children. In our daily lives its easy to overlook all of the things we love and appreciate about our spouses and focus in on the things they do that annoy, bug, or even enrage us on a daily basis (the single socks, cast aside in the solitary glory in every corner of our house – every corner except the laundry basket, that is, pop to the front of my mind). It’s so easy to let the things that drew us to a person slip away in the face of the constant onslaught of responsibility and just LIFE that obscures those bright and shining traits.
Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.Brene Brown
I think what she means by this is that it invites us to revel in our actual lives – to remember the things that drew us in and made us make the choices that we did. Sometimes its hard to put ourselves back into the mindset of the us we were years ago (13 years ago, in my case) to remember why we did the things we did. But when we let ourselves, we can relive those joyful moments and fall in love again with our spouse.
We can feel the love from them that we saw as so self-evident years ago.
I am so grateful for my husband.
I’m grateful for his intelligence and sharp, dry wit. I love how he thinks I’m funny and is able to make me laugh even at the worst of jokes. Gallows humor is real y’all and he’s able to make me reach for it when I’m at my saddest or most frustrated.
I’m grateful for his steady strength. I know steadiness isn’t always considered a glamorous trait, but he’s been so steady and safe that I’m often completely unaware of how free he’s made me and how accepting he is of both me and the people around him. I love that he reacts how I think he will react and I can trust that he will be the person that he is at any time. He is a person who knows himself and doesn’t change with the winds of society or even me – he is who he is and I love that about him.
I’m grateful for who he is as a father and a partner. He does not worry about fairness and acknowledges that it won’t always be fair. As the person who does the lion’s share of the housework, I love that he knows I do that. I’m fully aware that it might not always feel fair when I ask him to contribute more considering how much he does outside the house to support and maintain our family (and experience some guilt about it on a regular basis) but I love that he doesn’t bring it up or EVER identify it as a thing I should consider. Our girls are so lucky to have a father that truly loves to be around them – who is always willing to play endless games of Uno or Clue, but who never lets them win, so that they will know that they’re fascinating and capable no matter who the competitor.
I could go on, but my goal was three things. These are three pretty big ones.
It’s so worth it to think every day about not just the things you are grateful for in your own life, but the things you are grateful for in the people around you. When we practice seeing the things we’re grateful for, we can relive the experience of falling in love with them again and some of the irritation recedes in the face of that happiness and joy.